Right From the Start
by LaraDrake
Summary: Killian Jones leaves Storybrooke the night after his high school graduation, heartbroken and looking to escape the trappings of a small town. Emma Swan's life hasn't gone as she had planned since then either. Years later, Killian returns for his cousin's wedding and finds out that while some things never change, a small town can't stay the same forever. CaptainSwan AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Rating is for future chapters. Please let me know what you think!

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There were millions of places all over the world that were more dangerous than Storybrooke and Killian Jones wished that he was driving into any of them. It had been a dozen years since he had driven this same road in the opposite direction, ready to start his life outside of the small town that he grew up in. Like so many of his classmates, he had vowed to leave, desperate for a future that would set him free from small town life. His ticket out came in the form of acceptance to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. There, he had focused on his training and graduated with honors, his mother flying down to see him graduate. Immediately after his graduation, he was assigned and shipped out, rising through the ranks quickly enough that he was considered one of the Navy's brightest young officers.

Killian slowed his rental car as he reached Main St, turning at the clock tower above the library to head to his mother's house. A glimpse of gold out of the corner of his sunglasses had him slowing even further, trying to see if it was golden hair that he had seen. It wasn't, just a flag gently wafting in a garden in front of a house. He returned his eyes to the road and sped up a little, focusing on the street ahead and pushing thoughts of his last week in Storybrooke to the back of his mind.

Adelaide Jones had kept her home well in the years that Killian had been gone. The paint of the house was a lively sea foam green and there were well-tended flowers lining the walk up to the front door. Killian parked the car on the street and took a deep breath as he looked up at the house that held more than enough memories. He pushed his sunglasses up on his head and started up the front walk, the scent of the flowers mingling with the slightly salty smell of the nearby bay.

Home, he thought as he reached the front door. His mother had replaced the old wooden door for one of those trendy doors with all of the glasswork that looked like crystal. He pressed the bell, pushing the hand into his jeans pocket as he waited. A dozen years and he was finally back. He held his breath as he waited. The sound of footsteps drew closer to the front door and the door opened in a flourish. A petite woman with graying dark hair grinned up at him, her smile wide and welcoming as she threw her arms around him. "Killy!" she practically squealed, laughing and smiling and loving him in an instant.

"Mom," he breathed, wrapping his arms tightly around the older woman, breathing in her scent. He felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. God how he missed her. He held her tight. Leaving his mother so suddenly and not visiting her when she asked was something that he regretted over the years. He'd written her as much as he could, but he'd never agreed to come home for a visit. Instead, he told her that he was busy, which was true, he'd avoided all of his superiors requests that he take leave for more than just a handful of days.

Adelaide pulled back and grinned up at her son. She held onto his arms and studied his face. "You look well." Her eyes drifted over his face and down the rest of him, making sure that all of her son was in one piece. "You've grown so much…" Her eyes welled with tears and she threw her arms around her son again, burying her face in his t-shirt. He swallowed and hugged his mother, the lump in his throat growing.

He knew coming home for the first time was going to be hard. He'd seen his mother when he'd graduated from the Naval Academy, but there were friends and family that he hadn't seen in years. Some of them would not be as welcoming as his mother, he knew. Knowing Adelaide, she had kept everyone updated if they asked about him. She was proud of her son and had always said as much in the letters that she wrote to him.

Squeezing him once, Adelaide sniffled and stepped back. She kept her hands on Killian's arms. Her smile was brilliant again, transforming her face despite the salty tracks that her tears had left on her cheeks. "Your cousin is going to be so happy that you've come to visit. She was hoping you would walk her down the aisle next week." She turned and motioned to him to follow her to the kitchen. "You will be here for the wedding? How long are you staying?"

Killian followed his mother into the sunlit kitchen, the large picture windows letting in enough light to cast the kitchen into a warm afternoon glow. "I'll be here for the wedding." He slid onto one of the stools at the island counter to watch his mother bustle about the kitchen. Memories of her with less gray in her hair moving around the kitchen to try to keep up with the appetite of a teenage boy warmed him. He smiled at her.

"Good. You can stay in your old room." She stopped and made a face, remembering. "Or not… Well, you could stay on the sofa in the sitting room, if you want." She went for her tea kettle, filling it and then setting it on the stove to heat. Turning around, she leaned back on the counter next to the sink to face her son.

"It's alright, Mom. I'll stay at Granny's." In one of her letters, Adelaide had mentioned converting his bedroom into a work space and boxing up his things. He hadn't minded. It had taken her around two years to bring it up and it wasn't like he was planning on visiting any time soon.

Adelaide smiled at him, folding her arms. "Such a good boy," she murmured and watched her son look away shyly. "You really are, you know. Even after everything, you are a good son." She studied him as if she were memorizing every part of him, noting what had changed and what had not. "Liam would be proud of you." A brief note of sadness touched her words before she smiled at Killian again.

He folded his hands together and leaned forward, his elbows resting on the cool marble top of the island. His thoughts drifted to his brother and he shook his head. He tried hard to live up to Liam's legacy and he wasn't always sure he measured up. "So… Tell me about the wedding. Or Robin. Or…" his voice trailed off and he met his mother's eyes, shrugging his shoulders and trying to keep a light smile on his face. He silently wondered if she had left Storybrooke, but even after a dozen years, he didn't want to come right out and ask his mother about the girl he had been in love with, was still in love with.

"Well, your cousin is marrying a doctor. He apparently went to school with someone from Storybrooke. He did his residency at the hospital and that was where he met your cousin. She fell out of a tree." Adelaide covered her mouth to hide her laughter.

"What was she doing in a tree?"

"A cat, a kitten really, had gone up in the tree and Jefferson's daughter, Grace, was crying because it was crying so she climbed the tree to get the kitten down. She fell out of the tree, the kitten was safe, Grace stopped crying, and your cousin ended up in the ER with a bone bruise."

"Wait, Jefferson has a daughter?" Killian stared at his mother, surprised at Jefferson more than he was at his cousin falling out of the tree. She always was clumsy when they were growing up. Jefferson, on the other hand, had been a self professed ladies man last time he had seen him. He'd gone off to college before Killian had graduated high school.

Adelaide nodded. "She's 11 and the most adorable little girl I have ever seen. Jefferson worships the ground she walks on. I have never seen a man more enamored with their daughter. I'm sure she gets everything she could dream of."

Killian laughed, nodding. It sounded like Jefferson to be totally devoted to his loved ones. "So, he's married?"

"He was… Grace's mother passed away when she was born. Jefferson was devastated. She had been his world and then there was only him and Grace." The kettle whistled softly and she went to pull two mugs down out of the cabinet and take the kettle off the stove. "He would do anything for his daughter," she said softly.

It struck him that he had missed a lot. Jefferson, one of his childhood friends, had loved and lost and was now a father. His cousin was getting married. "Robin?" he asked, anxious to know if his best friend had changed.

Adelaide finished pouring the water into the mugs, dropping a tea ball into each, and turned to place one in front of her son. She smirked. "As long as he is free tonight, you'll see him. He asked me to let him know when you showed up." She turned to pick up her phone and tapped carefully on the screen, hitting send. "He made me promise."

Killian sighed, not sure if he wanted everyone to know he was back in town, but if Robin hadn't changed, the whole town would know he was back. He picked at the chain on the tea ball, playing with it in the hot water as he wondered if Robin would hug him or punch him for how he left. "Any other surprises?" he asked, looking up at his mother through long lashes.

She pulled the tea ball out of her own tea and took a sip. "She asked about you the other day."

He stiffened, pulling the tea ball out and setting it on a napkin he took out of the nearby basket. "Who?" he tried to ask lightly, knowing instantly who his mother was talking about.

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "You know who. The girl that you have been in love with since she moved into town when you were twelve." She raised her hand to stop his protest before he could make a sound. "I'm your mother, remember? Anyway, Emma asked how you were the other day when I saw her in Granny's."

Emma. Killian closed his eyes and the memories of the days leading up to his graduation played in his mind. Seeing Emma smiling, laughing, promising to meet him. Sneaking out to meet their friends. Hearing her words to her best friend. Fearing rejection, that he never had a chance. Confronting her in the moonlight. Her rejection. Killian had decided to take off for the Academy as soon as he could, his future being his salvation.

He shook his head to clear the memories from his mind and opened his eyes to see a concerned look on his mother's face. "What did you tell her?" he asked quietly.

Adelaide didn't say anything right away, just studied her son's face. "I always knew something happened between you two before you left. You know you can always tell me."

"Mom, what did you tell her?" he asked again, brushing off her words. He'd kept it to himself all these years and wasn't about to share now.

She sighed. "Just that you were doing well and still in the Navy." She sipped her tea.

"Nothing about me coming in for the wedding?" He was hopeful that Emma didn't know that he was coming into town, let alone actually coming early. As much as he wanted to see her, he didn't want to see her at the same time. After his graduation ceremony, he'd walked right past Emma, her words still stinging his heart.

Adelaide shook her head. "No. I only told Robin and Marco and I made both of them promise not to say anything. I wanted this to be your surprise for your cousin."

Nodding his thanks, he took a sip of tea and then stopped. "Marco? As in August's father Marco?"

A blush spread across her cheeks and she tried to hide her face behind her mug. "Yes."

Killian studied his mother for a moment, taking in the blush and the way her body language changed. She seemed younger, more playful. "Are you seeing him?" he asked slowly.

Adelaide nodded slowly, her blush growing darker. "It's only been a few months…"

"My mother is dating Marco Booth." He chuckled softly, at once feeling slightly weird and happy for his mother. Killian was sure more had changed in Storybrooke since he had left and he hoped that there were more good things than bad. Emma and Robin were still here, though, but he wondered what had changed about them. Maybe Emma wouldn't still hold his heart in her hands like she had all those years ago. Or maybe she still did.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma's fingers smoothed the top of her head, picking another little piece of glass out of her hair. She scrunched her nose as she dropped the piece into her carryout coffee from the morning. It clinked against other pieces of glass and pottery. She huffed and slumped in her seat, trying to inspect her hair for more pieces of lamp in the little mirror on the back of the visor.

Next to her, her partner chuckled as he guided the police cruiser down Main Street in Storybrooke. He glanced over at her, his dark brown eyes smiling at his blonde partner. "Maybe you shouldn't have dared her to throw the lamp," he said, his deep, lightly accented voice rumbling through over the words.

"What else was I supposed to do, Humbert? It was either get her to throw the lamp at me, or risk her throwing it at her husband and hurting him. At least I knew I could get out of the way in time." Emma dropped another piece of the lamp into the cup and sighed, sitting up and closing the visor.

Emma and Graham had answered the call on a domestic dispute about an hour ago. A neighbor had called in saying they were hearing the sounds of things breaking and screaming. When they had learned of the address, the Sheriff had called his 'best deputies' to try and calm Sharon and Carl Betrand down. Again. Apparently, Sharon had found out about Carl's new girlfriend in Boston and wasn't pleased.

"I'll be picking lamp out of my hair for a week," Emma groused, glaring at Graham when he chuckled again. She folded her arms across her chest and looked out the window of the cruiser.

Years ago, all Emma had talked about was leaving Storybrooke, going somewhere far away where she could start her life fresh. She wanted to make her own decisions, not live by the whim of social services any longer. It had meant breaking free if she could get out of Storybrooke, but that hadn't been in the plans for young Emma Swan. She'd watched the boy she loved graduate and leave all because she didn't want to stay. When he'd left, a gaping hole opened in her heart that Emma tried to fill with anyone she could.

"Emma?" Graham asked, waving his hand in front of her eyes.

She started and her eyes darted to her partner. "Hmm?" she asked, chasing away memories of brilliant blue eyes and a boyish, innocent smile.

Graham glanced at her, slowing at a stop sign. "Do you have plans for dinner?" he asked again, a slight tremor in his voice. He'd been dancing around asking her out for months.

Emma chewed on her bottom lip and met Graham's eyes for a moment before she looked ahead. "I'm supposed to meet Ruby after work."

"Okay." He let off the brake and drove forward. He tightened his jaw and nodded, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Graham was nervous. Usually, he was cool and calm and always stepped correctly, but when it came to emotions, he just wasn't comfortable. He cleared his throat and flicked the turn signal to turn into the station's parking lot. "Tomorrow?" he asked, guiding the cruiser in next to the Sheriff's.

"Graham…" she started softly, glancing down at her hands. He was her partner, more often then not. The Sheriff usually paired them together, saying they were his 'best men'. Emma knew he was telling the truth. Out of all Sheriff Walter's choices, Emma and Graham had the ambition and training to eventually take his place once he retired. It was one of the many reasons why Emma thought highly of her partner. She'd even imagined what it would be like with him more than a few times. Graham was a good man.

He turned off the engine and turned in his seat to look at his partner. "Emma. We get along great, don't we? We make a great team." He looked down, nervous and then back up, his dark eyes looking slightly sad, like he thought she wasn't going to agree with him. "We could be good together."

Emma swallowed and nodded. Graham was most definitely a good, sweet man. Maybe she could give him a chance. Ruby was always telling her that she could do much worse and should try to give love another chance with someone other than Henry. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, taking her to-go cup with her. Closing the door, she took a deep breath and met his eyes over the roof once he climbed out. "Okay." She gave him a small smile.

"Okay?" Graham asked, a smile spreading across his handsome face.

"Okay," Emma said again, his smile causing hers to grow. She looked down, her cheeks coloring. "I've got paperwork before I have to meet Ruby."

Graham nodded, still smiling as he closed the door to the cruiser and followed Emma. He gently caught her arm on the stairs, letting his fingers trail down until he was holding her hand. His dark, chocolate eyes met her green ones and she felt heat rising in her cheeks as a warm feeling settled in her chest. "Hey, thank you," he said softly.

Emma smiled again and squeezed his hand briefly before pulling it away. He was too sweet, almost, but she knew she could love him one day. Never like that boy, but she could still love him. Nodding, she turned and finished climbing the stairs. That she had a date, a date with Graham, kept running through her head with every step.

Inside of the station, Emma could hear David talking excitedly into his phone. She turned the corner to see him standing next to his desk, grinning broadly. "Yeah. Sure. I mean, I can't believe it." His eyes fell on Emma and the grin fell a little before it came back. "Tomorrow. Sure. We'll be there." He paused. "Emma too."

"Emma too, what?" she asked when he hung up his phone, giving David a sideways glance. She dropped the to-go cup into her garbage can.

"Uh, we're meeting Robin at the Rabbit Hole for drinks tomorrow night." David smiled sheepishly. "Hope you don't mind."

Emma rolled her eyes and dropped into the chair at her desk. "I do, actually." She looked up and met Graham's eyes as he walked past her to get to his own desk. "I have dinner plans."

David chuckled. "Since when do you have dinner plans?" He watched her, a look of surprise and curiosity on his face.

"Since now," she snapped and slammed her desk drawer. She focused on the report, starting to fill in the blanks.

"You have a date?" he asked and walked over to sit on the edge of Emma's desk. He reached out and put a hand over Emma's. "Emma?"

She glared at the man that had been like a brother to her for years and jerked her hand back. "So what?" She glanced over her shoulder at Graham and saw him acting like he was focused intently on some paperwork on his desk.

David started to reply and then stopped, following her gaze. He looked back at the blonde and then over to his fellow deputy and back again. "Wait, you have a date with Graham?" He chuckled again, smiling at Emma as he shook his head. "About time."

Emma felt her face heating up again and wanted to kick herself for all the blushing she was doing lately. She had always liked Graham and felt a little pull towards him, but she could always shut all of that off. Ever since the fall that she had found out she was pregnant, she'd push any sort of attraction down and focus. She's focused on getting through her pregnancy, getting her GED, getting through night school, and raising Henry. There wasn't any room for someone else.

"How about you both stop by for a drink after dinner then?" David looked between Graham and Emma.

"I don't-"

"Please, Emma?" David gave her his best pleading look, sticking his bottom lip out just a little too much. "For me?"

Emma shook her head. "Or, you'll sic Ruth on me, right?" David had used his mother to guilt her into a lot of things over the years. Anything Ruth asked Emma to do, she did. Ruth had taken her in when her last foster family had thrown her out. She watched David grin and sighed. "Fine."

"Alright! Eight o'clock at the Rabbit Hole." He tapped her desk with his hand and then headed to grab his keys for his patrol.

She watched David as he left, looking more excited than she had seen him in awhile. Going out with Robin to the Rabbit Hole wasn't something that David would normally be so excited about. She frowned and looked over at Graham. He was glowing. She took a deep breath and looked at the clock on the wall. She had to meet Ruby in fifteen minutes.

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Emma checked the time on her cell phone and slipped it back into her pocket. Typical Ruby, she was never on time. She shrugged her red leather jacket on and headed down the steps in front of the Sheriff's Office. The street lamps in Storybrooke would be turning on in a few minutes. It was just starting to get chilly, summer not having fully arrived in the small town yet. Emma was grateful. She liked jeans and long sleeves and loved her red leather jacket. Ruth had given it to her one Christmas after Henry was born, saying that she needed something just for her because her life was going to be all about her son for a long time.

Her cell phone chirped and she pulled it out, Ruby's picture filling the screen. "Hey, running late?"

"No, yes." Ruby's voice came quickly and it sounded like she was out of breath. "Granny said that the diner is swamped and that she couldn't get hold of any of the other girls to help. I mean, seriously. I have a wedding next week and she wants me to work an extra shift?" She made an exasperated sound.

"Hey, it's okay, Ruby. How about I meet you at the diner? I'll help you out and we can work on the wedding stuff as we work?" She had started walking down the street.

"Thank you, thank you! You are the best maid of honor that a bride could ask for! I'll see you there!"

Emma tucked her phone back in her pocket, not exactly happy that she was going to end up working at the diner for the rest of the evening. Ruby was her best friend and her getting the wedding of her dreams was important to Emma. Even if that meant Emma having to return to waiting tables like she had when she was a teenager.

Granny's was only a few blocks away from the Sheriff's station and Emma made it there in no time. She pushed open the door, pulling a hair tie out of her pocket. Her eyes immediately moved to the back left-hand booth out of habit. In high school, it had always seemed like her friends had crowded into the booth. Since then, other teenagers had come and gone, but she never stopped looking for them, for the dazzling the smile that greeted her whenever he was there.

It wasn't his smile that she saw today, but Ruby with her arms wrapped around a man that was just taller than her, makeup running as she cried. "I missed you," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut as she hugged the man even tighter.

Emma stopped just inside, letting the door swing shut behind her. There were less than a handful of people in the diner. She tucked the hair tie back in her pocket, confusion furrowing her eyebrows. She was sure that she hadn't seen the man holding Ruby in Storybrooke before today. He had short, dark hair, messy like he had run his hands through it too many times. Ruby's fiancé Victor was a blonde, but about the same height but where Victor was lean from trips to the gym, this man was fit, his body strong for a purpose. "Ruby?" she asked, walking closer to her best friend.

Ruby sniffled and focused on Emma. "Emma!" she said, a watery smile stretching across her face as she loosened her grip on the man. He stiffened, Ruby focusing on his face for a moment before stepping back and giving him a smile. "Go on," she said softly to him.

He nodded to her and turned around, brilliant blue eyes meeting Emma's green. She froze even as a smile stretched across his face. "Emma, it's been a long time," he said, a soft cadence to his voice.

Her lips parted and she stared at him, memories flooding her mind. He was older now, his hair shorter, his body broader. She remembered him smiling at her with that same, dazzling smile, his eyes full of hope and dreams. Now, they were wary and missing the innocence, but he was still smiling at her. Emma missed him so much. It hit her hard, her stomach twisting and a hollow feeling filling her chest. She searched for something to say, but couldn't find the words.

She swallowed, trying not to remember his shoulder brushing hers as he walked past her on his graduation day. He didn't even look at her, just kept walking right off the field. Emma had thought about chasing after him, but by the time she had gathered the courage, she was standing at the door to his home, his mother looking at her with pity in her eyes as she told her that her son had already left for Annapolis.

Shaking her head, she cleared her mind. Twelve years was a long time, more than enough time to get past those last few days. More than enough time to move on. "Killian," she said, her voice steadier than she thought it would be. "It's good to see you."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I apologize for the time between posting chapters. Work has gone on mandatory overtime with no end in sight and my anxiety has been managing to get the best of me. Enjoy and I'll work on getting the next part up faster. Thanks for reading and please review. It is a great motivator.

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Granny's hadn't changed much since the last time he was there. Sure, the waitresses were different, but they were still all of high school age. One of them was behind the counter, her blonde ponytail bobbing as she nodded to whatever Granny was saying to her. Killian remembered another blonde ponytail bobbing in agreement to her, getting the third degree about not remembering to stuff the napkin holders or something equally as routine.

He saw the moment Granny's eyes flickered past the waitress and stopped on him. She stopped in the middle of a sentence. It took her a moment before she smiled and stepped around the girl, coming out quickly from behind the counter. She walked right up to him, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. She looked happy to see him before she frowned.

"Mrs. Lucas, it's good to-"

Killian was cut off abruptly when the elderly woman slapped him, hard. He stretched his jaw, his cheek stinging, surprised.

"I suppose I deserved that." He decided he was lucky that she hadn't punched him instead of the slap. If she had chosen to, he doubted he would have been prepared enough to move out of the way.

"You just disappeared," the elderly woman said and jerked him into a hug, holding him tight and pressing her cheek into his shirt. "You are a bastard for that, Killian Jones." She squeezed him hard for one brief moment. "You could have at least said goodbye to Ruby before you left."

Killian sucked in a deep breath and looked down into Granny's face when she stepped back, frowning at him again. He scratched behind his ear and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I've caused so much trouble, Mrs. Lucas. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. Especially Ruby." He knew that his choice to leave and then stay away hadn't been what others had wanted for him, but he wasn't sure it had been the wrong one for him.

"Well, we'll have to let Ruby decide if she forgives you or not. I'll get her over here."

"Make it a surprise, Mrs. Lucas?"

The older woman grinned, her eyes shining with mischief. "Of course. I don't have too much longer to rattle that girl's cage." She headed back behind the counter to the old rotary style phone there. Killian knew that if Ruby decided to forgive him, Mrs. Lucas would as well.

Absently rubbing his cheek, Killian turned back to the booths lining the wall. In high school, they had always taken up at least two of the booths, him and his friends piled in, practically sitting on top of each other as they talked excitedly about anything and everyone. He'd spent far too many evenings sitting next to a young blonde as they completed homework, him often buying her a hot cocoa with a sprinkling of cinnamon on top of whipped cream. He could practically taste the sweet drink as he thought about her, smiling as she pushed her glasses back up her nose.

A man pushed himself out of the last booth, grinning at Killian as Killian walked closer. The other man held his hand out and Killian, although wary and fully aware that his old friend could take a swing at him, took his hand. "Jones, you bloody git," the other man said, hauling him close for a hug.

"Locksley," Killian replied, still wary although it appeared that Robin was happy to see him.

Robin pulled back with a serious look on his face. "You are an asshole for disappearing. Would it have killed you to send an email?" He gave Killian a hard look before he started grinning again, unable to keep a straight face while he scolded his friend. "No matter, you're back now." He clapped his friend on the shoulder and motioned for him to sit.

Killian slid into the booth with his back to the door. Robin was grinning at him from across the booth and he shook his head and smiled. If he was lucky, most of the people he saw would be happy to see him. "I'm here for at least Ruby's wedding."

Nodding, Robin motioned for the waitress to come over and ordered two coffees. Her blonde ponytail bobbed as she took their order. "Not moving back then?" he said to Killian when the girl turned away.

Killian watched the waitress go, wishing she was a blonde from years before. He turned back to Robin and shrugged. "It's not out of the realm of possibility." He glanced up at the waitress as she returned to place a coffee cup in front of each of them and filled them. Her dark eyes darted from Robin to Killian and back before she walked off. Killian's eyes followed her again.

"Emma hasn't worked in the diner in years," Robin said, studying Killian's face.

His gaze moved quickly to his friend, his eyes widening. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Emma since he drove into town. "I wasn't thinking about Emma."

Robin laughed. "Now that is a lie, Killian Jones. You used to come here just to talk to her."

He scratched behind his ear, looking down at the coffee cup and the steam that swirled up from it. "That was years ago," he said too quickly. Her words replayed in his head again. She didn't want him then. "I wasn't thinking about her. The waitress is… cute." He glanced over at her and then back at Robin before trying to look like he was distracted by putting sugar in coffee.

"Fine. If you want to play it that way, Maggie is seventeen. I can call her over, get her number for you. Anything for a friend." He stared Killian down, watching as Killian's eyebrows rose in panic. A smug smile grew on Robin's face.

"Robin," he growled, setting his spoon on a napkin. "Do we have to start this shit already?"

"It's been twelve years, Killian. Twelve years. Either you have gotten over the girl or you haven't." He leaned back, taking a drink of his coffee. He set the mug on table. "As far as I can tell, you haven't."

Killian rubbed the back of his next and sighed. "Look, mate, you know what she said that night. You are the only one that knows. I've moved on. I have a bloody fantastic career in the Navy. I'm happy. I don't need you digging up schoolyard crushes just to get a reaction out of me, alright mate?" He met Robin's eyes, hoping that his friend would drop it. Robin could be like a dog with a bone. He didn't give up easily, but Killian hoped that this one time, he might observe his wishes. Killian didn't need him poking and reopening old wounds.

Robin nodded to his friend. "You're right. I'm sorry." He shifted in his seat, his arms on the table now.

"Thank you," Killian said, relief flooding through him. He didn't want to think about Emma any more than he already was and he hadn't even seen her yet. Silently, he hoped that he might avoid her until the wedding. Pushing thoughts of her to the back of his mind, he focused on his friend. "How have you been?"

"I'm sure you have heard everything from Adelaide already." He motioned to his jacket, the patch proclaiming the National Park Service on it. "I'm a full time park ranger. I give archery lessons in my free time. I've been seeing someone for a little over two years now. Her name is Regina." He paused and thought for a moment. "I've missed my best friend these past years."

"Robin…" Killian warned, not wanting to get back into why he left, why he had to leave again. That night, he'd gone to Robin with his heartbreak. He was the only one that he ever told about what happened that night. Robin had snuck out and met him at the docks with a six pack of beer and a sympathetic ear. Killian had let everything out, told Robin things that night that he hadn't told his best friend before. After his third beer, they had both decided that it would be better if they went home and met the next day at graduation. It was on his walk home that Killian decided that he was going to leave after the ceremony, take the early entrance program he had been offered by the Naval Academy, and not look back.

"Killian, you may have been out there, seeing the world and serving our country, but I've been here. I was the one that watched over your mother when you left. I made sure that Ruby stayed out of trouble. I watched Emma move on without you there to hold her up. We were all here while you went away."

And left them all, Killian finished in his head. Adelaide mentioned in her letters to Killian that Robin had been furious at the way he left. "I hurt all of you." Killian rubbed behind his ear again. "I want to make it right, for what it is worth. I want to be here for Ruby's wedding. I want to give her away." He met Robin's eyes. "I've tried to stay in touch with my mother as much as I can. I want to be your friend again. I miss… home." A home was something he was lacking in his life and had been since he had left. He wasn't on land long enough for a long term lease and while he was comfortable on the ships, they weren't home. Home was where those you loved were. Home was still Storybrooke for Killian Jones.

Robin nodded. "So you are staying after the wedding?"

"It's possible," he replied, a bit awkwardly. Despite wanting home again, Killian didn't know if he could stay in Storybrooke. If he wanted to live here, he knew he could pull some strings to get stationed in Boston or even somewhere in Maine. He was going to be deployed again sooner rather than later, though and there was only so many favors he could call in. "I haven't received my next assignment."

Sighing, Robin set down his coffee cup when Maggie appeared again with the pot to refill both of their cups. "Fair enough. Oh, tomorrow we are going to the pub. Sorry, the Rabbit Hole."

Killian raised an eyebrow, glad the conversation had shifted. "I'm having dinner with my mother and Marco tomorrow night."

"After dinner. Seven thirty or eight. You take your life into your hands if you have anything but the pretzels at the Rabbit Hole." He chuckled. "Some people want to see you."

"Some people?"

"David, Jefferson," he listed. "Regina, Ruby will come… If Victor's not on call, he'll show up. You'll love him."

"Ruby's fiancé?"

At the front of the diner, the door chimed and in swept Ruby, two tote bags over one of her arms, the other hand clutching her wedding book and her apron. "I swear, Granny, if my wedding isn't absolutely perfect next week, I'm blaming you for calling me in-" She stopped, seeing the practically empty diner. "What the hell?" she asked, even more annoyed and getting louder as her annoyance grew. She dropped her tote bags on the floor near the counter and set her wedding book on the counter.

Killian twisted around in his seat and met Ruby's perturbed gaze. She stopped and a look of surprise lit up her pretty features. She had grown up well, he thought. Last time he saw her, she had been gangly and cute, all big smiles and unabashed laughter. Now, she was all long legs and beauty. Her body had finally caught up with her bright and sparkling personality. He slid out of the booth and gave her a smile

"Killy?" She took a hesitant step towards him.

"It's me, Red." He spread his arms out, still smiling.

"You jerk," she whispered and launched herself into his arms, holding on to him for dear life. Ruby clung to him, laughing and sobbing as he spun her around. He quietly told her how happy he was to see her and how much he missed her. "I missed you." Ruby hugged him tighter.

Killian closed his eyes and held his cousin, swallowing against the lump in his throat. He'd only been home a day and between his mother and Ruby, Killian was reaching his exhaustion point. Once, he had stayed awake for around 48 hours for an exercise and it hadn't felt that bad, except for when he finally laid down. Emotional exhaustion would win out over physical every time, he thought.

The bell on the door to the diner chimed and the door rattled as it closed. "Ruby?" a woman's voice said.

Ruby's grip on her cousin loosened as she looked past him. "Emma!" She stepped back from Killian's arms and a watery smile stretched across her face. She met Killian's eyes as she moved out of his way. "Go on," she said, swiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

Killian nodded, taking a deep breath as he turned around to see the one person he was hoping that he could avoid for a few more days. He couldn't help but smile upon seeing her. Emma was beautiful, far more beautiful that he remembered her. Golden curls tumbled over her shoulders. She'd worn it straight and up in a ponytail for most of their youth. Eyes as green as stormy seas met his and he saw her freeze, confusion, surprise, and something else pooling in their depths. The picture of her that had always been in his mind shifted to the current and his hope that his feelings for her might have just been a youthful infatuation faded. His heart beat faster and he had to say something, anything to her. "Emma, it's been a long time," he said gently, wanting to kick himself for not having thought of something better.

She blinked, her lips parting and he knew she didn't know what to say either. Maybe she was reconciling the image from him from twelve years ago with the man that stood in front of her just like he had with her. Killian silently prayed that she liked what she saw and that she was happy to see him, but he could feel his nerves getting the better of him. Maybe she hadn't thought of him over these past several years like he had thought of her. Maybe she was married or had someone else.

Golden curls bounced as she shook away her surprise. "Killian, it's good to see you," Emma said, her voice clear, her face carefully blank.

The smile on his face fell even further when she didn't smile at him. Emma didn't seem particularly happy or disappointed in seeing him, just that initial surprise. He cleared his throat, not sure what to say. Small talk? He wasn't sure if it was appropriate for them. The last things she had said to him and his shoulder brushing hers flashed through his mind again. A dozen years and he could still feel and hear them as clear as if they had happened yesterday.

He moistened his lips, his throat feeling dry, wishing for the distraction of a glass of water. For years, he had wanted to see her again, wondering if they would be friends, pretending like that night and day did not happen, or if they were just going to be awkward. "How are you?" he ventured, reaching up to scratch behind his ear.

A little smile graced Emma's lips before disappearing. She glanced past him to where Ruby was whispering with Robin then settled her gaze on his face again. "Fine. Just fine." She played with the hair tie in her hand, shifting her weight. "You?"

Killian felt his nerves increase as it became more and more obvious to him that Emma was uncomfortable. "Well. I'm… well." He started to scratch behind his ear again, feeling excessively fidgety, and caught himself, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Emma shifted again, looking past him again to Ruby who had stopped talking to Robin and was gathering her things. "Um, if you are staying for awhile, I'll see you around," she said, noncommittally. She gave him a quick, nervous smile that didn't reach her eyes and stepped past him to help Ruby gather her wedding book. "We've got a wedding to finish planning."

Ruby looked at Emma and then back at Killian. He was a little puzzled, unsure of what Emma had to do with his cousin's wedding. "We can stay for a little bit," the brunette said, starting to set down one of her bags.

"No," Emma said quickly, putting her hand out to stop her friend. She caught herself and glanced at Killian and then gave Ruby a pointed look. "There are still a lot of things we need to finalize before next weekend. The more we get done, the less we have to rush around doing at the last minute."

Ruby's eyes moved back and forth between the two again until she met Emma's eyes. Killian watched Emma shake her head once and then Ruby sigh, wondering what kind of silent conversation was going on between the two of them. Emma was ready to flee, it seemed to him, and he knew he was the cause.

"Well, I have to listen to my maid of honor. I swear she's the only reason the wedding plans have gone so well so far." Ruby walked over and awkwardly hugged Killian, her arms full. "We'll catch up later, Killy." She kissed his cheek before turning to head for the door.

"Aye, lass," he said softly, watching her move past Emma and out the door the blonde woman was holding open. He hadn't known the two were close enough for Emma to be Ruby's maid of honor. They hadn't been when he'd left, but that obviously had changed.

Emma moved to follow the bride to be out the door. "Goodbye, Emma," he said and watched her stiffen and pause. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her green eyes clouded with hurt before she stepped outside, the door swinging shut behind her.

Killian stared after her, his stomach twisting. He hadn't said goodbye before. Was that why she had looked at him with such pain? Sucking in a deep breath, he turned back to Robin, who was looking at him with interest. "What is it, mate?" he asked his friend, feeling even more exhausted and more angry at himself.

Robin shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing." He fidgeted with the bill the waitress had placed on the table, tossing a few bills from his wallet on the check.

Running his hands through his hair, Killian sighed and stared at the floor. He needed to sleep, to process everything that had happened today. He glanced at Granny who had her glasses on and was poking at the register. "Mrs. Lucas, may I rent a room?" he asked.

The old woman peered over her glasses at him and nodded, finishing with the register and heading towards the back. "I'll have one ready for you."

"Thank you," Killian said before turning back to Robin. He was looking at him with curiosity, like he was trying to read Killian and figure out a riddle. "Mate…"

"Nothing. It's nothing." He sighed. "Just… You still love her?" The statement was a question but Killian knew that even after twelve years, Robin was the person that knew him the best.

"Aye," he said softly and headed for the door, completely ready sleep for several hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Her cell phone buzzed and Emma grabbed at it, fumbling the device as she tried to finish applying her lip gloss. She cursed and picked it up from where it had fallen on the floor. She touched her code into it, seeing a text from Graham. He was downstairs.

Emma took a deep breath and checked her make up and clothes in the mirror one last time. She had decided to go simple, a nice, sapphire blue dress that Ruby had helped her pick out that didn't show too much cleavage or too much leg. Shopping with Ruby always resulted in excess of one or the other, but this dress has been the exception to the rule and it proved to be one of Emma's favorites. She loved the classic style of the dress and the skirt that flowed around her legs when she moved. The neckline was just low enough that it was appealing but at the same time it was tasteful. It made her feel beautiful.

Today had been full of ups and downs for Emma. Her early shift at the station had been the highlight. She had buried herself under a mountain of paperwork as David and then Graham had gone out to answer any calls that had come in. As soon as she had any free time, her mind kept trying to wander right back to a person she had thought was out of her life for good twelve years ago.

Killian Jones.

The bastard had come back to Storybrooke, all grown up and devilishly handsome and Emma was beginning to find she didn't know how she felt about him anymore. She knew she was angry and Ruby had gotten a good chunk of her anger last night as she ranted to her best friend about Ruby's cousin until Ruby had demanded that she get over herself and focus on the wedding. Emma had agreed, shoving incredible blue eyes and an amazing physique out of her mind to focus on flowers and decorations.

But, now, as Emma stared at herself in her mirror, she couldn't help but think about him again. He was back home and she wondered how much his time away had changed him. She remembered every word that she had said to him the night before he left and even those that she had said to Milah, her high school best friend, which she late found out that he had overheard. Emma hadn't been truthful with anyone that night. She had said things that had pushed Killian away and she knew that his leaving was in some part her fault.

Her cell phone buzzed again and Emma snatched it up, grabbing her heels and her purse as she hurried towards the front door. She had a date and she knew now wasn't the time to think about missed opportunities, no matter how much she had regretted them then. She quickly texted Graham, letting him know she was on her way down, before slipping on her heels. Grabbing a jacket, she hurried down the stairs to meet her partner.

Graham leaned against the passenger side of his truck, his arms folded across his chest. He was dressed in a simple white button down and dark slacks. He smiled at Emma as she came out of her building, his eyes traveling over her. "Emma, you look… nice," he said, cringing slightly after the words were out of his mouth. He pushed himself away from his truck and ran a hand through his curly hair. "I meant-"

"It's alright," Emma said and stopped in front of him. Even in her heels, he was taller than her. She tilted her head back and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm nervous too."

Graham smiled at her, turning to open the passenger door and let her in. He stood with it open, watching as Emma slid onto the bench seat before shutting the door behind her and walking around the truck to get in on the driver's side. He put his hand on the key in the ignition and let out a deep breath and turned to look at her. "I just wanted to thank you... I haven't been on a date in awhile." He gave her a sheepish smile and then looked down at the wheel. "I like you a lot, Emma. You really made my day when you said yes."

Not sure what to say, Emma watched him, her lips parted. She blinked and then smiled at him again, feeling warm at his words. "I like you too," she said, softly, really thinking that she could love him with time. The thought played through her mind, much like it had the day she had agreed to the date. Graham was a good man and he might just be what she needed after all of these years of kissing frogs.

A genuine smile crossed Graham's face and he met her eyes again, happiness shining in them. They stayed like that for a minute or two before a blush rose on Emma's cheeks and she looked away, still smiling as she looked out the window. He might be what she needed now, despite Killian's return. The thought of him standing in Granny's Diner, older and much more handsome than her memory made her wet her lips.

"Where are we going?" she asked, shaking the thoughts of Killian from her head as she buckled her seatbelt. A little bit of anger flared in her belly at how he kept invading her thoughts when she was supposed to be enjoying her date.

Graham started the truck, the vehicle's diesel engine rumbling to life. He put it into gear and started down the street, still smiling. "The Enchanted Forest."

Emma turned in her seat, pulling on the seat belt a little. "I would have been okay with Granny's," she said. The Enchanted Forest was one of the nicer restaurants in Storybrooke, although it wasn't expensive, just an actual place where you would take an actual date. Emma was suddenly nervous again.

"This is a date, isn't it?" he asked, the low rumble of his voice wavering slightly, showing how nervous he still was, despite his happiness at her admissions.

She swallowed and nodded, shifting in her seat to look out the window, all of her fears resurfacing. A date after all of these years, she thought. She hadn't been on a real one in a few years. Not since Walsh, who had tried to wine and dine her a little too quickly for her tastes. The man hadn't shut up about his furniture story in Boston and how much she would love it there. They had broken up on less than amiable terms after Emma told him she wanted to stay in Storybrooke. She had a career and family here. Walsh hadn't understood and went back to Boston, saying it had been a waste of his time to come to the little town to see her once a week. Was Graham going to decide that she wasn't worthy of his time too?

The drive was short and Emma spent it deep in thought, her nerves rattling and making her want to ask Graham to take her home instead of to the nice little restaurant that overlooked the sea. The forest ran right up to the shore there and it was a beautiful setting, the driveway lined with twinkling lights that led up to a small parking lot that stretched to one side of the building.

Graham parked the truck and walked around to help her out, offering his hand. She slid her hand into his, wincing slightly at the clammy feeling of her skin against his. Her eyes met his again and they paused, green meeting the deep, honest grey of his eyes. She smiled at him and they started to walk across the parking lot.

As they made the short walk, she studied his profile in glances. He still seemed nervous, but at peace. Graham had feelings for her that ran beyond friendship, he always had. When they had started working together, she had let him down gently and they'd become friends. Her not being interested then hadn't lessened his, though. He'd just been patient. He waited for her. Another sign that she might have found someone she could enjoy being with, even if she didn't love him. Yet.

The Enchanted Forest was a beautiful, single story restaurant with a large patio out back that they mainly used for parties. There was a section set up for seating for the restaurant too. The patio overlooked the bay, providing an amazing view. Ruby had talked Victor into having their rehearsal dinner on the patio just a week ago. In the front of the building, they set up a waiting area, a little deck that stuck out just enough for a pleasant view while you waited for a table.

"Ah, shoot," Graham said, pulling Emma's attention back to him. She furrowed her brow as they stopped at the stairs that led up to the front door and the waiting patio. "I left my wallet in the truck. I'll be right back."

Emma smiled and let go of his hand, watching him hurry back across the lot. She climbed the stairs to the waiting area, chewing on her bottom lip and walking to the railing. There were a few people, a dark haired man dressed in a white dress shirt and slacks and a small family, waiting. Emma studied the dark haired man for a moment. Broad shoulders, trim waist, the dress clothes fit him well. She thought he looked familiar and the memory of last night in Granny's diner hit her. "Killian?" she asked.

The man turned around, a friendly smile on his face. The smile grew once he saw her. "Emma," he said, his eyes growing wide as his eyes traveled down her body. "You look," he bit his bottom lip, his eyes meeting hers, "beautiful."

A smiled blossomed on Emma's face at his words and she could feel the heat in her cheeks and see the appreciation in his eyes that only served to make her heart flutter. "Not really," she said softly, smoothing her hands over her skirt and trying to keep her heart under control. She felt like she was in high school again and the boy she liked had finally noticed and appreciated her for the first time.

Killian scratched behind his ear. His eyes were on hers, briefly, then away, and then back to her. He chuckled nervously. "Really, Emma, I mean it. You are a vision," he said, a light blush gracing his cheeks too as he held her gaze again.

Emma shuffled nervously, her cheeks growing hotter and her eyes moving away from his. She could hear the sincerity in his words as she tried to find a lie. "Thank you," she said, raising her eyes to his again, her heart fluttering again. It was the same as it had always been, Killian wouldn't lie to her.

They stood in companionable silence for a few more moments before Killian scratched behind his ear again, the nervous habit he had since as long as Emma could remember. She could imagine this being their date, dressing up for him, enjoying dinner with him, kissing him good night. Killian cleared his throat and pulled Emma out of her thoughts, away from all of the 'what ifs'.

"So," they both started at the same time and stopped. She couldn't find the anger that had ruled her last night, it had dissipated so quickly, like seeing him again was reassuring her that he wasn't going to vanish so quickly again. She smiled to herself. Emma looked at him and started again. "So, what brings you here tonight?"

Killian put his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. She wanted a fancy dinner for him and me to get to know each other." He rolled his eyes. "I spent enough time in Marco's shop with August when I was younger, but she insisted."

Emma smiled, knowing that he would do anything for this mother. She'd heard from Ruby that Adelaide received letters from her son almost every week over the past few years. At first, it had made Emma angry when she realized that he wasn't going to write her too. That was before she realized what a mistake that night had been and how she didn't have anyone to blame but herself for the words they had shared. "They're really cute together," she offered. "I've seen them around Storybrooke."

He smiled at her, his eyes dancing with happiness at her words. "That is good to know."

The smile still on his face, he stepped closer to her, his eyes darkening a little, like he was thinking about something other than his mother and her new boyfriend. Emma didn't move away as he moved closer, warily watching him. She tilted her face up to him, the tension between them like a living thing curling in the air between them. Thoughts of his family and her date fell even further out of her mind. "I-"

Killian tilted his face to hers, enough space between them that she couldn't feel his breath, but he was already in her personal space. Her body hummed with his closeness, and she wanted to feel his body pressed against hers, his lips pressed against hers. "I've missed you, love," he said so that she was the only one that could hear him, the family shuffling past them to enter the restaurant. Her breath caught in her throat and she knew she'd never forget the way his voice sounded as he spoke, the way his accent he'd never been able to get rid of curled around his words. "I've never stopped-"

"Emma?"

Graham's voice made her jump back from Killian and she turned to her date. "Graham!" she said a little too brightly, feeling guilt rise in her chest.

The deputy stopped next to her, his steely gaze on Killian. Killian looked taken a back for a second, his eyes moving quickly between the two as Graham took Emma's hand in his. "Ah," Killian said and a rueful smile appeared on his face as he made is obvious he saw their hands linked together. He stuck his hand out to Graham. "Killian Jones. I went to school with Emma."

Graham didn't smile back, but shook his hand. "Graham Humbert." He didn't add that he was Emma's date, but by the look on Killian's face, Emma knew that is what he was hearing.

Emma's eyes moved quickly between the two of them, the tension in the air growing by the second. She chuckled nervously and tightened her hold on Graham's hand. "Graham, let's go inside?" Her eyes darted to Killian and she gave him a quick smile that she knew didn't reach her eyes. "It was nice to see you, Killian." She turned to pull Graham towards the door.

"It was good seeing you too," Killian replied and Emma didn't turn around. His voice sounded off, unlike a few minutes ago when he had been shy and serious with her. She wondered what he had been about to say when Graham returned. It could have been anything, she thought, not wanting to hope that Killian had missed her just as much as she missed him and that maybe, just like her, a part of him never let her go despite leaving her.

"Emma?" Graham asked her, holding the door for her. "Who was that?" He glanced passed her, back outside as she stepped around him.

"Just someone from high school," she replied quickly, glancing back to Graham behind her, letting her eyes move past him to Killian, looking at her like he had looked at her so many years ago when she had rejected him. Her chest ached and she quickly looked away.

Graham followed her inside, his hand on her back to guide her to the podium as she tried to push Killian out of her thoughts. But, she couldn't. Memories washed over her.

Teenage Killian striding up to her as she quickly stood up from her seat on the bleachers, moonlight washing over them. The night had been perfect, warm and you could see the stars. Emma had smiled nervously at him as he fidgeted through his words, telling her that he wanted to date her, that he cared about her more than just friends. He'd looked so hopeful and then she'd denied him, telling him she didn't feel the same way, lying to herself and him. He'd believed her, telling her that he had hoped it wasn't true when he had heard her tell Milah earlier that evening. Then, he'd left her standing by the bleachers, hurrying away before she had started to cry.

"Emma?" Graham's voice cut through the memory and she was brought back to the present before she could dwell on the details.

Her eyes darted to his and she was worried that he had been speaking to her and that she hadn't heard him. "Hmm?"

The hostess caught his attention and he made an apologetic face before he gave the hostess his information and she checked his reservation. She grabbed some menus and smiled politely at both of them before leading them into the restaurant.

Emma followed her, Graham behind her with his hand on her back. His hand was a warm presence on her back and Emma wasn't sure if she enjoyed it. It wasn't anything compared to the feeling of Killian being so close to her. His hand felt just like body heat, not like the warmth of a growing flame. She shook her head as Graham held her chair for her, clearing her mind of thoughts of Killian.

Graham didn't comment on her distraction, only starting to smile and tell her what he liked about the menu. The conversation began to flow, awkwardly at first and then easier as Emma relaxed and let everything that was Graham flow over her. The conversation ended up being good and she laughed as they talked about his pet, a half wolf, believing that this could be it, this could be easy and not complicated.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I apologize for the wait. Life keeps causing delays... Anyway, where is a longer chapter than before and thank you to everyone for your encouragement! I don't plan on abandoning this story at all. Thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

Dinner with his mother and Marco had taken longer than he had expected, but Marco made Adelaide happy and that pleased Killian. His mother had gotten past his father and had moved on, finding someone who made her smile with all of her heart. Despite all of the happiness dinner held, Killian couldn't help but think about the disappointing events earlier in the evening.

It had started well, better than he could have imagined even. He'd run into Emma outside of the restaurant and she had been beautiful beyond words. They had chatted and he had flirted with her, seeing the blush color her skin. Killian was still in love with her and had wanted to tell her, but then her date had showed up. He was gruff and clearly trying to indicate that he wasn't pleased with Killian talking to Emma. Killian had been more than willing to let them get along with their evening, even if it hurt him to watch her walk away from him. Then, he'd heard her tell her date that he was just someone she knew from high school. She hadn't even called him a friend.

Killian sat down on the bed in the room Granny had rented him. It was neat, almost as if there wasn't anyone staying in the room. His years in the Navy had ingrained in him the need to make his bed and keep his clothing out of sight every day. He sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair, gripping it and tugging.

Emma frustrated him. He thought that the years would have changed something, but no, he wasn't that lucky. Emma was even more wary and had higher walls, yet he could still read her like he always had been able to. She'd flirted with him and then brushed him off. In high school, Killian had been sure that Emma liked him, sure enough to confess to her. Then, she'd tossed him aside and he'd run. Now, he was sure he saw some of that spark in her again, that she was interested still, only to have her brush him off. He tugged on his hair and sighed.

Robin and some of his old friends were probably already waiting for him at the Rabbit Hole. He let go of his hair and checked his watch. He was going to be less than punctual. "Blasted woman," he mumbled and went to change out of his nice slacks and shirt, trading them for a v-neck t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans, Emma still on his mind.

If she had been his date, he didn't know if he wouldn't have reacted the same as her date had done earlier. She had been beautiful in her pretty dress and heels. He'd seen glimpses of her throughout dinner from the other room they had been seated in. Her laughter, her smile, her date's hand on her back as he guided her from the restaurant, and the quick glance she had cast in his direction before they disappeared out the front door. Some how, he knew that she would haunt him that night, that his mind would mix the past and present and present him with an Emma that would drive him wild and break his heart. Perhaps it wasn't an image that was so far from the truth.

He grabbed his leather jacket from the closet and left the hotel room, heading for the short walk to the Rabbit Hole from Granny's.

* * *

Ruby tossed her head back and laughed, leaning heavily on the blond man standing behind her. Robin smiled and gestured with one hand, finishing the joke he was telling only to make Ruby laugh harder. Killian smiled, walked from the door to where his friends were standing next to the bar. "Killy!" Ruby practically shrieked as she launched herself at him, jumping into his arms.

Killian laughed as he caught his cousin, her arms and legs wrapping around him like they did when they were kids. The only difference was, this time, he easily caught her instead of them falling to the ground in a pile of gangly limbs. "Missed me didn't you?" he asked, hugging her until she let him go.

She stepped back from him and lightly smacked his arm. "Jerk." She turned back to the bar and grabbed her drink, carefully not spilling the martini glass. She put her other hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. "Couldn't be sure if you were going to run away again."

Immediately sobering, the laughter and smile fell from his face and he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Ruby…" he said and sighed.

Ruby reached out and smacked his arm again, harder this time, pouting. "I'm allowed to still be angry, but that doesn't mean that I don't still love you." She took the arm that she smacked and tugged, leading him to a few tables pushed together and glaring two college age kids that were moving towards the tables. She pushed Killian down in a chair and plopped down next to him. "Now, tell me about the Navy," she demanded, leaning on the table and sipping her cosmo.

Killian felt a little taken by storm, but that was Ruby. She'd always been quick, her emotions and mind shifting like lightning. He gave her a soft smile and then glanced to where Robin and a blond man were standing at the bar. "A drink, mate?" he called to Robin and watched his friend roll his eyes and turn to the bar. Killian refocused on his cousin, seeing her looking at him expectantly. She looked a little buzzed and he wondered how long they had been drinking before he got there.

"Quit looking at me and tell me!" she demanded. "You've been gone for twelve years! I want to know what my Killy has been up to!" She pouted again and Killian knew he would always give her whatever she wanted.

Robin dropped down in the chair on the other side of him, putting a beer in front of him. The blond man slid into the seat next to Ruby. "Yeah, mate, what have you been up to?" Robin said.

Killian sighed and looked to the man seated on the other side of Ruby. "Killian Jones," he said and offered his hand, wanting to know if his assumption that this man was Ruby's fiancé was true.

The man gave him a polite smile and shook his hand. "Victor Whale."

Ruby huffed. "Yes, yes, he's my fiancé," she waved her hand in the air, brushing Victor off. "Killy, if you don't start talking…"

Victor laughed and said something like, "that's my girl," and turned his attention to his beer.

Shaking his head and fighting a chuckle, Killian took a drink of his beer, pleased it wasn't the garbage they used to drink when they were teenagers. He started to talk, telling them about his life in the Navy, what it was like working on a ship and moving through the ranks. He didn't say much about his personal life, not on purpose though. There wasn't much to tell. He practically lived for the sea and his progression through the ranks.

Ruby and Robin listened intently, asking questions and laughing at some of his stories. His cousin finished one drink and then asked Victor for another. Robin bought a round of beers for Killian and Victor and they were soon all laughing and chatting.

"Where the hell have you been?" a voice behind them said, interrupting their laughter. Killian turned in his chair to see David standing there, the corner of his mouth turned up as he tried to hold the mock anger.

"Dave," Killian said, standing and offering his hand.

"I should punch you, you know," David said, taking his hand and squeezing it briefly before yanking Killian into a hug. "But, I'm glad you're back." He released him and Killian stepped back.

Killian gave David a brief smile before he motioned back to the table. "I'll get the next round," he offered. An appreciative murmur went up around the table before he headed to the bar, glancing back at his friends as he placed the order for another round.

David sat across the table, chatting with Ruby's fiancé. Killian took a deep breath and turned back to the bar. There was nothing like coming home, he decided. A hand clapped on his shoulder, startling him. His whole body tensed and he saw Robin step up to the bar next to him.

"It's just me," he said and leaned on the bar next to Killian, his gaze on the bartender down at the far end of the bar, taking care of some college kids. "How are you?" Robin asked, still watching the bartender.

Killian shrugged and leaned against the bar himself, his elbows and forearms on the well-polished wood. "It's… overwhelming at times," he said, studying the labels of the whiskey stacked behind the bar.

Robin chuckled and turned his gaze to Killian's profile. "Ruby will do that to you." He glanced back to the bartender who was making his way down the bar to them, stopping to refill drinks on his way. "Did dinner with your mum go well?"

"Marco is wonderful for her." Killian stared at his hands, his jaw tightening as he decided if he wanted to tell Robin about seeing Emma. He glanced at his friend, remembering the six-pack of beer and how patiently the man had listened to him when he was a teenager. "I saw Emma too."

Turning towards Killian, Robin perked up, curiosity written all of his face. "And…?"

"I tried talking to her when her date showed up."

"Wait, Emma Swan on a date? You have got to be joking."

Killian's browns furrowed. "What do you mean? She's beautiful... Why wouldn't she have a date?"

Robin shook his head again. "Emma Swan doesn't really date. Who was it?"

This was one thing Killian hadn't missed about the small town life. The gossip mill and it seemed like Robin was well into the life here. "Graham?"

"You have got to be kidding me!" He glanced back over to the table where David and Victor were laughing and Ruby was scowling at them. "Graham Humbert. Wow. I never thought I'd see the day where she finally gave in."

"What do you mean?"

"Graham hasn't made it a secret that he has feelings for her, but Emma has… had made it clear that she doesn't date."

Killian's heart thumped loudly in chest, wondering if it was because of what had happened all those years ago or if she was just sticking to her decisions. She'd rejected him so maybe she rejected everyone else. "She doesn't date?" he asked, a puzzled look on his face.

Robin met his gaze, not speaking right away, as if he were searching for the correct words. "No… Not really since Neal."

"Neal?" he asked. "Neal Gold?"

"The one and only."

Killian turned to the bartender as the man stopped in front of them, placing the orders for another round. As the bartender turned to start the order, Killian's mind turned over the idea that Emma had been with Neal. Jealousy burned briefly, brightly, in his chest before a sadness replaced it. Emma has chosen Neal and not him to be the object of her affection.

* * *

Emma ran her fingers through her hair just before she pushed open the door to the bar, all at once agitated and still feeling pleased with her earlier date. Graham had to go back on duty for the night, so they had made it an early evening. He'd dropped her off at her door and kissed her cheek, promising that he would take her on another date.

She could see herself with Graham even more after the pleasant, although short, evening they had. He'd always been sweet to her, but the nervousness they'd both experienced during their date brought them closer, she thought. Perhaps it was just the fact that he had been as nervous as she was what made her agree to the second date at the end of the night. Graham was a good man and the more time she spent with him, the more it became an undeniable truth to her.

Seeing Killian at the restaurant had shaken her. He'd been so handsome and their interrupted conversation bothered her on so many levels. Part of her wanted to know what he was going to say. Another part of her thought she knew what he was going to say and was terrified to hear it.

"Emma!" Ruby shouted, swaying in her chair and jerking Emma out of her thoughts. She smiled at her obviously tipsy friend and crossed the bar to her. Victor smiled at Emma and waved as he put a hand on Ruby's waist to steady her.

Emma reached the table and sat in the chair next to Ruby, quickly giving the brunette a hug. "A few too many?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ruby huffed and shot her friend a big grin, her eyes clear. "Victor wishes." She glanced over her shoulder to see him distracted by his cell phone. "So, how was your date?"

"Yeah, how was your date?" David asked, slipping his phone back into his jacket pocket as he sat back down at the table.

Ruby stuck her tongue out at David. She turned her attention back to Emma, ignoring David as he leaned across the table on his elbows. "I want to hear everything that happened! Did you kiss?" She watched Emma look down at the table and ran her fingers over a scar in the wood. "Oh my God!" Ruby squealed, "You did!"

"Ruby!" Emma scolded and scowled at her friend. "Shh!" She looked at David and immediately covered her face with her hands. "It was only on the cheek…" She could feel her face heating up. David's mouth had been hanging open and he had been looking at her in pleasant surprise. She wished she'd stayed home.

"Come on, Emma." David reached for her arm, leaning across the table to pull one of her hands from her face. He smiled at her, squeezing her hand in his before letting go. "I'm happy for you. There is no one that deserves happiness more than you and if Graham will give that to you, then I'm behind you one hundred percent. He's a good person."

Emma lowered her other hand and gave the man who was practically a brother to her a small smile. "Thank you…" She looked to Ruby and saw a watery smile on her friend's face. "Ruby…"

"Shh…" she threw her arms around Emma, squeezing her tight. "I love you and I'm happy for you."

Emma hugged Ruby back, patting her back until Ruby sat back and let her go. She looked between David and Ruby, not sure what to say. They were assuming things that she wasn't ready to decide. "It was just one date."

"And you have another one, right?" Ruby said, ever hopeful. She had been after Emma for years to date someone, anyone, but Emma always said she had the love of her life already.

Irritation blossomed in Emma's chest and she had to bite her lip to not snap at Ruby. She was always meddling. She'd been campaigning for Graham ever since he'd become a deputy in Storybrooke. David had been hostile at first, wanting to protect Emma from the 'new guy with the ridiculous accent'. Emma had rolled her eyes and let David play the big brother as she always did. Then, Graham had slowly won him over, being the good person that he was.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Emma said, glancing between the two of them. "Anything could happen."

Ruby sighed and cross her arms across her chest. "Fine. I know you aren't going to say anything now." She glared at David. "We'll have girl talk later."

Emma rolled her eyes and shrugged out of her jacket, draping it over the back of her chair. "I need a beer."

"Your wish is my command."

They voice came from behind her as a dark beer slid onto the table by her arm. She stiffened, immediately recognizing the voice. "Thanks," she said warily, wrapping her hand around the glass and lifting it to take a sip. Guinness. Of course he would bring the table Guinness.

Killian set Ruby's drink in front of her and placed the rest of the beers on the table within reach of everyone else. He then slid into the vacant seat next to Emma with the other Guinness. Emma glanced at him and then to David across the table as he watched the two of them, his brows furrowed.

"Oi! That was my pint, Jones," Robin said, shoving his friend's shoulder. "And my chair."

Killian grinned, glancing at Robin and then focusing on Emma. He reached into his pocket and held up some cash to Robin. "Have a pint on me and the lass stole my chair first."

Emma's eyes widened slightly, then she glared, shoving Killian's shoulder harder than Robin had. "I don't see your name on it."

He laughed, deep and rich, sending a jolt of pleasure right through Emma. "Are we still twelve, Emma?"

She snorted and turned her attention to her beer and Ruby, trying to ignore the fact that Killian was sitting next to her. She could feel the heat of his body as he only sat inches from her. His accent curled in her ears as he talked to David and Robin when he retuned. The man was distracting and Emma wished he wasn't. Even after all these years, his presence still made her heart pound. She wondered if sleeping with him would get him out of her system.

Ruby turned to talk to Victor, scolding him for still playing with his phone. Emma was grateful for the break in conversation, barely able to keep up with her friend as she imagined what it would be like to be with Killian.

The thought of Killian beneath her as she rode him to ecstasy made her shift in her seat, suddenly warm. She wondered if he would be gentle or rough, if he would kiss her slowly or take her hard and fast. Emma took a long drink of the slightly cool beer and forced herself to think about Ruby's wedding, asking the other woman about the rehearsal dinner to distract herself before she did something she wasn't sure she was ready for.

* * *

For once, Killian was glad that Storybrooke was so small. Everything was mostly within walking distance and although the bar was more towards the outskirts, it wouldn't take him long to walk back to Granny's. Killian was thankful for that after the evening spent with old friends and an old flame.

Emma had distracted him all evening and as she brushed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder and laughed, Killian couldn't help but watch her out of the corner of his eye for what he felt was the hundredth time that evening.

He could feel her next to him all night. He'd felt her shift in her seat when she leaned across the table to swat at David for a teasing comment. Her hip had brushed his shoulder when she stood to go with Ruby to get the next round. His shoulder was still burning several pints later and he was feeling good. Whether from the alcohol or being so close to Emma, he wasn't sure.

Next to him, Emma leaned back in her chair, smiling and Killian couldn't help but watch her and smile back. Her eyes darted to him and he saw her smile just get a touch broader as their eyes met. She then looked away to the others at the table. "Well, I think it's time to call it a night."

"Come on, Emma," David said, reaching for his phone to check the time. His eyebrows went up as he saw the number and sighed. "Or not. Mary Margaret is going to have my head if I don't leave soon too." He picked his beer up. "After I finish my beer." He grinned into the glass and Victor started laughing.

Ruby scowled at her fiancé and then turned to hug Emma goodnight. Killian watched Emma as she said good night to her friends, affectionately messing up David's hair before she waved to both Victor and Killian. He held her gaze for just a few seconds longer, until her eyes shyly dropped to the ground and she turned for the door.

Killian's mind raced, wondering if he was imagining the slight color in her cheeks, the subtle gesture that made him want to follow her. Years later and Killian still wanted Emma more than any of the women he had been with since he'd left. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and kiss her until neither of them had breath left in their lungs. He wanted to hold her and laugh with her. He wanted to see if she would give him a chance now that they were older.

He stood up and headed for the door, shrugging his jacket on as he went. Behind him, he vaguely hear Ruby yell for him, but he ignored her and burst outside, the chilly night air hitting his warm cheeks. His gaze darted around as he turned, looking for Emma among the few people that were lingering outside the bar, smoking and laughing. A glimpse of blonde had him jogging across the street. "Emma!"

The woman stopped, turning around. "Killian." She smiled, the corners of her lips curling upwards, her hands shoved into the pockets of her red leather jacket.

Killian stopped in front of her, under the street light. He glanced down the street the direction she had been heading, feeling good and willing to take the leap again. He met her eyes, her beautiful green eyes, and couldn't stop himself from smiling again. "Let me walk you home," he offered hoping.

Emma snorted and shook her head, breaking eye contact as she poked a booted foot at the sidewalk. "Why? I'm a Sheriff's deputy. I can take care of myself." She met his eyes again, tilting her head and waiting for his answer, curious, but not angry at his offer.

He sucked in a breath and reached up to scratch behind his ear, shuffling his feet like he was in high school again. Emma was continuing to make him feel like he was twelve years younger. "Because you are beautiful and it's a shame to see you without good company."

She laughed took a step closer to him, obviously feeling good and relaxed as she swayed closer. "And you are good company?"

"The best." He grinned and she laughed at him again, the sound music to his ears. "Emma, let me walk you home." He bit his bottom lip, as she hesitated. "Just company on your way home. Nothing more." He held up his hands, willing to take whatever he could to be close to her. "I'm a gentleman."

Emma watched him, studied him in the streetlight, her eyes wandering over his face as she thought about what he was offering. Her body language wasn't giving anything away.

It was a long few moments standing on the sidewalk and he had to breathe slow and even to keep himself from breaking the moment as she made her decision. Emma had to be the one to take the next step and even the one after this one, if they got there. Killian held his breath as she searched his eyes again. It was more difficult waiting for her decision than any of the missions he had gone on with the Navy.

"No," she said, firmly, her face almost blank.

Killian nodded quickly, his heart crashing again. "As you wish," he said softly, ready to retreat, to lick his wounds in peace.

"No," Emma said again and stepped after him, not letting him run away. "You can kiss me." She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and jerked him against her, pressing their bodies together from knee to thigh as her lips crashed against his.

Killian hesitated for only a fraction of a second in his surprise before he kissed her back, tongues and teeth clashing as he fell into the kiss. It was better than he ever imagined. Her lips were firm and soft at the same time and she tasted like he thought heaven should. His hands slid into her hair and she made a soft sound in the back of her throat as he cradled the back of her head and gently guided her to a better angle.

Their kiss started off passionate and rough before it slowed and became gentle. Killian was on fire with want through every touch. He wanted to run his hands over all of her and taste her everywhere. Instead, he settled for being gentle and showing her how much he wanted her.

Emma pulled back a few moments later, catching her breath as she searched Killian's face again. He let his hand fall to her arm, his fingers on the cool material of her leather jacket as he waited again for her, waiting to know if she found what she was looking for in his eyes. He knew he had found what he was looking for in her.

She started to smile until her gaze moved over his shoulder and she stiffened, immediately pulling out of his arms. Killian gave her a confused look and turned around to see Graham crossing the street towards them, his lips set in a hard line, dressed in his Deputy's uniform.

"Graham," Emma said, moving to step past Killian. She put her hands on Graham's chest to stop him once she met him in the street.

"What was that?" Graham asked gruffly, moving like he was going to keep going past her. Emma's hands pressed harder on his chest to stop him.

Killian touched his lips, still on a high from the kiss as he watched Emma with the man she had been on a date with earlier that evening. "That was-"

"A one time thing," Emma finished, looking over her shoulder to give Killian a hard look. She turned back to Graham and started pushing him backwards. "Drive me home?" she asked Graham. He turned stiffly, glancing at Killian before taking Emma's hand and leading her back to his cruiser.

Killian watched them go, seeing Emma glance back at him once more before she disappeared into the police cruiser. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. He could still taste her on his lips and he wasn't content with it being a one time thing. Killian Jones would have his chance with Emma Swan, even if he had to wait another twelve years for it. As he started the lonely walk back to Granny's, he hoped he wouldn't have to wait that long for her.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews, kudos, follows, and favorites! Work has been eating up a ton of my time and this chapter demanded to be stuck in before the next one, which I had already started writing... Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The gossip mill was in full swing. Killian sat in the pew next to his mother and tried to pay attention to Father Jameson. The quiet whispers just over his left shoulder were distracting him from the sermon as the middle aged women whispering said his name a few times. He glanced back at them and they quickly looked away from him, staring up at the pulpit. He sighed and shook his head, earning an elbow from his mother. Ignoring the temptation to elbow her back, he tried to focus on Father Jameson again.

As the priest continued on, his voice echoing through the church, Killian thought about last night when he'd finally gotten Emma into his arms. It had been perfect, his hands in her hair and her arms around him. Perfect until she stepped back from him. She'd come to him willingly and then ran away, promises of nothing ever coming of the evening falling from her kiss-bruised lips. She'd left with the Deputy and Killian had been left alone in the street.

When the sermon ended, the congregation started filing out of the church. Groups of people were gathering on the lawn, on the sidewalk, and in the parking lot to chat and catch up. Killian glanced at the same two women that were sitting behind him in the church, seeing them with a few other women their age. They were watching him again and he huffed, rolling his eyes and letting his mother take his arm. "Let's say hello to some people," Adelaide said, patting his arm and steering him towards the group of women.

"Moth-"

"Adelaide Jones!" one of the women said and broke away from the others and hurried to his mother, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. She had light, almost white hair. She smiled at Adelaide. "And who is this striking young man?" Her eyes shifted to Killian.

Adelaide smiled proudly. "This is my son, Killian. Killian, this is Beth, Sarah, Kate, and Ginger." She pointed to each of the women as she spoke.

Killian gave them all a small smile, not sure he'd remember their names. "Pleasure," he said and Kate, a woman with short, perfectly coiffed, dark hair, and Ginger, a strawberry blonde, started giggling, or tittering, Killian wasn't sure. Killian could feel the tips of his ears heating. It was like in school when the girls starting whispering and giggling about you in the hallways. They had been the ones sitting behind him in the church. Adelaide let go of Killian's arm and stepped to the side to talk animatedly with Beth, the woman with the almost white hair, and Sarah, a blonde, leaving Killian to the mercy of Ginger and Kate.

"So, are you staying long in Storybrooke?" Ginger asked, swaying closer and batting her eyelashes at him. She chewed on her bottom lip and let her eyes wander over him.

"I'm here for my cousin's wedding, but when the Navy calls, I'll have to go back," he said, noncommittally. He took a step back from Ginger. Kate giggled again.

"A Navy man?" Kate asked, crowding next to Ginger and moving a step past her. "You should come out with your mother and all of us to lunch this afternoon. I'm sure you have many stories of life on the high seas."

"Thank you, but-"

"Oh, where are my manners!" Kate interrupted. "You should being your wife along." Her eyes flashed to his left hand then her gaze moved over his shoulder like she was looking for someone. "Where is she? A handsome young man such as yourself couldn't possibly still be single."

Killian raised an eyebrow, wondering what Kate's goal was here. Ginger was still looking at him like he was good enough to eat. The thought turned his stomach a little and he focused on Kate, who was laying her politeness on awfully thick. He shook his head at her. "I hate to disappoint, but I am not married."

Kate gasped and pressed her hand to her chest and making Killian want to roll his eyes at her. "Such a shame. Are you divorced then?" He shook his head. "Engaged?" Again, he shook his head. Kate and Ginger giggled. "Well, such a handsome and patriotic man as you shouldn't be so alone."

"I quite assure you that I am well on my-" Killian's jaw clenched as Kate interrupted him.

"My daughter is about your age." She pursed her lips in thought. "Maybe a little younger… Anyway, she loves a man in uniform, if you know what I mean." Ginger giggled again and he could have sworn she said something like she also loved a man in uniform.

Killan's face heated and he found himself at a loss for words. She was going to set him up with her daughter. "I'm not-"

"Now, don't say that you aren't interested. My Milah is very beautiful and she'll be in town later this week."

"Milah?" he asked, not hearing the rest of Kate's words as the name brought back old memories. Emma and Milah whispering together in the early evening light on that night so many years ago. He shook them off and studied Kate for a moment, seeing shades of Milah in her features.

"You know my Milah?" she asked, smiling brightly, almost too excited that Killian already knew her daughter.

"Aye…" he said softly. He remembered Emma and Milah laughing, Milah's dark features contrasting with Emma's light. Both girls has been beautiful, but had only had eyes for Emma. Still only had eyes for her.

"Oh, good! You'll have to come for lunch later this week too! She'll be in town on Wednesday. Her cousin is bringing her back with him and his boy."

Killian was about to protest to the lunch date when his mother returned to his side. "Lunch?" she asked, looking curiously between her son and her friends. She studied Killian for a moment longer than he thought she would and raised an eyebrow. He gave her a pleading look as he opened his mouth to decline and was interrupted again.

"Killy!" Ruby demanded, grabbing his other arm. She smiled at the circle of women around him, almost glaring at Ginger and Kate. She stopped her attention on Adelaide, leaning around her cousin. Killian held his breath, Ruby's fingers tightening on his arm again. The way she was acting, he wasn't sure if she was here to rescue him from his mother's friends or not. "Auntie Addie," she asked sweetly. "May I borrow Killy? It's for the wedding."

Adelaide looked up at her son and then to Ruby's overly sweet smile. Her son had an almost scared expression on his face. Ruby wanted something and they both knew it. She looked at Kate and then sighed. "I suppose. Killian Jones, you will be at dinner tonight though," she said a little sternly, trying not to smile at her son.

Killian nodded and Ruby practically dragged him away from the women before he could say goodbye. He dodged one bullet there, but was still reeling from the information that Milah would be back in town later in the week with her cousin, who he definitely did not get along with when they were teenagers. "Thank you, Ruby."

Ruby just ignored him and kept pulling him until they were on the sidewalk, walking away from the church towards the rest of the town. "You're welcome, but you have to tell me something or I will tell Kate that you used to have a crush on Milah."

"What do you want to know?" he asked warily, knowing that he would rather suffer whatever Ruby wanted to know than have Kate chasing after him to date her daughter.

"Last night-"

"Ruby-" He paled, suddenly nervous. She was going to ask about the kiss, he knew it.

"No, Killian." She stopped and faced him, poking him in the chest. "You said you would answer. Do it, or I will make sure Kate knows what room you are staying in." She glared at him.

He sighed and nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Go on."

"Last night, did you or did you not kiss Emma Swan?" She straightened and folded her arms across her chest.

"I wouldn't say that I kissed Emma last night," he said carefully, wondering if he could get out of telling Ruby anything. When she narrowed her eyes, he shifted. "Alright, Ruby. We kissed. She grabbed me and kissed me in the street."

"Wait. Emma kissed you? You didn't kiss her? I mean, I know that you had a huge crush on her in high school. But, Emma? This is the same Emma that took two years to say yes to a date with Deputy Graham." Ruby kept on, talking way too fast for Killian to keep up as she ranted about her friend.

He watched her, trying to process everything that Ruby was saying about Emma. She seemed to avoid relationships, from the bits and pieces that he was catching from Ruby. After a moment, Killian grabbed his cousin's wrist, trying to get her to focus on him. "Ruby… Ruby." Her eyes moved to his. "She went home with the Deputy last night. He… he didn't look too happy catching us kissing in the street."

"Graham caught you guys kissing too? Oh, wow." Ruby studied Killian and sighed, taking his arm again and pulling him down the street towards Granny's. "You have to tell me something. You have to promise to tell me the truth."

"…Okay," he replied, reaching up to scratch behind his ear.

"Do you still love Emma Swan?"

"Ruby, I hardly-"

"Killian Jones," she cut him off. "Do you love Emma Swan?"

He stopped and Ruby stopped walking, turning to face him again. She stood there expectantly. "I never stopped," he said softly.

* * *

Sunday morning, Emma had woken up and just felt the need to scrub her home from top to bottom. She wanted to clean the floors, the kitchen, wash all the laundry, and even give the bathroom a good scouring. Anything to keep her from thinking about the night before.

She tugged the sheets off of her bed, tossing them towards the door to the hallway. She had piles littered up and down the hall, towels from the kitchen, towels from the bathroom, and the bed clothes from Henry's room. Her bed clothes were the last to be added to the pile before she'd drag them all down the hall and into the laundry room.

Emma quickly pulled the pillows out of their cases and started to push the bed clothes into the hallway, adding them to the pile and trying to awkwardly carry before she got frustrated and settled for pushing them to the laundry room.

She wasn't sure what had gotten into her last night. She'd grabbed Killian and kissed him. She'd felt like she was drowning in the kiss, like this was something that she should have done all those years ago, regretting the time lost between them so suddenly and severely. Emma hadn't been beyond wondering what their life together could have been like before, but now she felt the loss in the pit of her stomach. It settled there and she knew it wasn't going to leave anytime soon. The past twelve years could have been filled with kisses like the one they had shared under the street light.

Then, Graham had to show up and she was forced to make a choice, too soon for her liking. She'd been confused and her mind so full of Killian that seeing Graham had been like being doused with cold water. So, Emma had done what she always did. She ran. She ran right out of Killian's arms and into the safe and pretty obviously jealous embrace of Deputy Humbert.

As she loaded the washing machine, she shoved the sheets a little more forcefully than was necessary. She wanted to kick herself. Last night was mess and she knew that the town gossip mill would be in full force come Monday morning. So, she was stress cleaning today, trying not to replay every moment in her head.

Graham had led Emma to his cruiser, not saying anything else until they had arrived at her home. Then, he had asked her if he could call her, gently squeezing her hands and giving her a soft smile. Emma had faintly returned it and nodded before almost running into her house and up to her bedroom.

What were the odds that her childhood love would come back to town at the same time she agreed to give her sweet, safe coworker a chance? She huffed and slammed the lid shut on the washing machine. "Just my luck," she mumbled and turned the machine on.

She tried not to stomp down the hallway to the kitchen, carrying her cleaning supplies from the laundry room. Emma was angry with herself. She knew that she had thrown Killian away all those years ago and she was floored that he was seemingly giving her a chance. Or, was it just revenge? She didn't know and right now, she didn't care as she started cleaning the kitchen with angry strokes.

Once the kitchen was clean, she moved onto the living room, and then down the hallway to the two bedrooms, and to finally the bathroom. It was the evening by the time she stopped, her fingers shaking as she had skipped lunch and all of her feeling gross as she had just kept up the relentless pace.

The dryer buzzer sounded behind her and she sighed. The last load of towels were finished, the rest of the laundry sitting in a pile to be folded and put away as soon as Emma got off the floor of the bathroom. She ran a hand through her hair, eyeing the freshly cleaned shower. Henry would definitely comment on the cleanliness of their home on Wednesday. Emma rarely cleaned when he wasn't home to help her.

She missed him. She always missed him when he went to visit his father. They talked almost every evening and she had even gotten him his own phone so he could text her if he wanted to, but she still missed him in the mornings and at dinner. He'd been gone for a month at this point, his father having wanted to take him on a trip before they spent the last week of Henry's summer vacation in New York going to Henry's favorite museums.

Emma couldn't fault Henry's father for anything to do with his son. Although he had been mostly absent after Henry's birth, he'd always supported his son and visited during holidays while he was in school an after he had gotten his job in New York. When Henry was old enough, he started to go on trips to see his father and he would always come back bursting with stories. Emma was happy for her son, but she always missed him terribly when he was away.

Her body protested as she pushed herself off of the floor, going to stow the cleaning products back in the laundry room and grab herself a warm towel from the dryer. She'd shower and then put both beds back together.

She tried her best not to think of Graham or Killian all day, but the memory of Killian's lips on hers kept invading her thoughts. She didn't want to ever forget it, but she didn't want to keep thinking about it either. She walked back to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

It wasn't like she had anything to compare the kiss to, she thought as she stepped under the spray. She hadn't kissed Graham yet and Walsh and Neal were distant memories. She was sure that she would have remembered them better if their kisses had felt anything like Killian's.

Emma showered quickly and stepped out, wrapping the now cooling towel around her as she padded down the hallway to her bedroom, just in time to see her phone vibrate off her night stand. "Shit!" she hissed and snatched it up, answering the call without seeing who was calling her. It was about time for Henry to call.

"Emma?" the deep voice on the other end asked.

She pulled the phone back from her ear and saw Graham's picture. "Graham," she said, a little disappointed that it wasn't Henry calling. She didn't want to think about the two adult men in her life any more today.

"How are you?" he asked, sounding happy.

"Oh, good… I cleaned all day." She walked around her bed to go look for some clothes.

"Emma, would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night? I'm off and I know you have the morning shift…"

Emma pulled out a t-shirt and an old pair of sweatpants, chewing on her lip. Did she want to go out with Graham again? It wasn't like Killian has asked her on a date. "Pick me up at 7?"


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: It has been awhile. Life got in the way, a lot, and then it took awhile to replace my laptop. I've got the timeline completely mapped out and am working on a plan. I really want to finish this. So, enjoy this chapter and leave me a review if you have the time. This has been unbetad. Any mistakes are my fault.

* * *

Twelve years had gone by and her only thought was that she had waited all of that time for this, to finally feel his body so close to hers. His hands were everywhere at once, touching and exploring, sliding over her night clothes. She arched into his hands as they smoothed down her shoulders, dipping inside of her camisole to cup her naked breasts.

"Killian," she moaned, reaching out for him, to pull him up to kiss him, only to sink her hands into his hair. "Please," she whispered as he grinned up at her, sliding down her body, only her panties covering her modestly now.

Emma's brows furrowed, wondering briefly where her clothes had suddenly gone, not that it mattered once his mouth closed around her nipple, immediately bringing it to a sharp peak. She twisted, her back lifting off the bed as she felt pleasure pool in her stomach, her body feeling tighter, hotter.

"Killian," she breathed again and could hear his chuckle in reply, vibrations rippling over her flesh as he pinched and rolled her other nipple between his fingers, his other hand smoothing down her body to grasp her lacy panties and tug them down.

She moaned again, lips trailing fire down her stomach as he lowered himself, giving her a wicked grin as he started to press kisses to her dripping sex. "Love, you are so wet for me," he murmured, his lips against her wet folds as he spoke.

Emma gasped and looked down at him, his tongue sliding over her, lapping at her arousal. Her eyes rolled backwards and she felt the heat growing low in her belly, the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter as she reached closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh, God, I love you," she gasped as he grazed his teeth over her clitoris, her body bowing from the pleasure. She felt the rumble of his laugh again and then his fingers sliding inside of her.

"And I you, Emma," he said, curling his fingers inside of her, finding that spot inside of her that set her skin on fire.

Emma lifted her hips, wanting him deeper, wanting more than just his fingers inside of her. She gasped and tugged at his hair. Then, he was crouched between her legs, his hands kneading her ass as he pressed his lips to hers, his tongue pressing between her lips as he kissed her deeply. She opened herself to him, her tongue dancing along his as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Vaguely, she registered that she couldn't taste herself on his lips and that his scruff was dry where it scratched her chin.

Her thoughts melted away as Killian thrust inside of her, his cock slamming into her as her body took all of him. She moaned and clutched at his has back, his ass, trying to draw him closer. Her legs tightened around him. Her whole body was aflame and she knew that she would fall apart at any moment.

Killian started to move, Emma raising her hips to meet every thrust, the pressure building as they moved together. She bucked her hips harder, seeking release, wanting him deep inside of her. She spiraled closer and closer to the edge, her body singing with pleasure as she finally cried out, falling over the edge, her release coming hard.

Emma jerked awake in her bed, her body still singing with her release. She sucked in a shaky breath, her legs trembling and a wetness between her thighs. Had she really come in her sleep? She ran a hand through her sweat dampened hair, her mind reeling. Killian had been gone for twelve years and in all that time, she had dreamt about him, but never like this. Had their shared kiss two nights ago really been the trigger?

The alarm on her phone went off and she jumped, startled out of her thoughts. Emma tried to get her heart under control as she sat in her bed, her panties soaked and her dream still playing in her mind. She sighed and reached for her phone, turning the alarm off and climbing out of bed.

Monday morning meant a morning shift at the Sherriff's office and then her date with Graham in the evening. She tugged at her sleep tousled hair, trying to get it modestly under control. Emma wasn't sure if she still wanted to go on the date with Graham at this point. They agreed on the time and then she had even been stupid enough to apologize for kissing Killian. She wanted to kick herself as soon as she had said it to him and had hung up quickly. Then, she dreamed of Killian, not Graham.

She padded across the clean floor of her bedroom, stretching. She headed for the shower, knowing she needed to get moving if she was going to stop for coffee at Granny's before heading to the station. She didn't trust the coffee that Marla, the receptionist, tended to brew for the first pot of the day. She only trusted David or herself to get a decent pot of coffee out of the decrepit coffee maker.

She stuck her hand under the spray to test the water temperature, thoughts of a good cup of coffee and maybe one of Granny's pastries making her stomach growl. Deciding the water was warm enough, she stepped into the shower. As she showered, the dream drifted back to her in pieces, making her think about Saturday night again and how she had spent a good part of her day on Sunday trying to keep busy enough to get Killian out of her mind.

Killian's kiss had felt like fire searing her lips and branded her with an intensity she'd never felt before when kissing anyone. The memory was still vivid in her mind two days later. It made her wonder if her life would be any different has she just kissed him all those years ago. Would he have stayed? Would she still be with him now, married and waking up next to him? Would she still have her son? Would he be Killian's instead of Neal's?

Emma shivered and quickly finished washing her hair as the water started quickly cooling. She sighed as she turned the water off and wrapped herself in a towel, stepping out of the shower. Maybe it was a good thing her landlord had not replaced the ancient water heater yet. The 'what if's stirring in her mind had drifted away when the cold water reminded her to get moving again. It had been her choice to chase Killian away, she reminded herself. Her choices put her where she was today.

She dressed and hurried out the door. She knew she wasn't late yet and that she had just enough time to stop at Granny's before she showed up at the Station to meet David for her shift. Her phone buzzed as she climbed into the bug and she cursed as she dropped it onto the floor of the passenger side. "Damnit!" she hissed and made a grab for it, annoyed as she only managed to knock it under the seat. "Forget it," she mumbled, sitting back up and pulling her seatbelt back on. Whoever it was could wait.

Emma drove down the streets of the sleepy little town, focusing on her mission of coffee and pushing the lingering thoughts of her dream out of her head. She pulled up to Granny's, eyeing the rental car that was parked in the street in front of the side of the building that had the rooms the Lucas's rented. Most of the wedding guests weren't coming into town until later in the week so it had to be Killian's.

She parked the bug outside of the diner and unfastened her seatbelt to search for her phone under the passenger seat. Leaning over she pulls it towards her with her finger tips, stretching and twisting to reach it where it has wedged itself under the seat. She curses and finally gets a hold of it, snatching it and sitting back to check her messages.

"Shit!" she jumped as someone tapped on the driver's side window of the bug. She nearly dropped the phone, her eyes widening to see David standing outside, one hand holding a drink carrier and paper bag. She quickly rolled the window down. "You scared me," she said.

David gave her an amused smile and shifting the paper bag to his other hand to hold out to her. "Breakfast?"

Emma tilted her head and gave David a confused look. "I was just going to go in and see Ruby."

He chuckled and motioned for Emma to let him in the passenger side. She cleared off the seat as he rounded the vehicle and climbed in. "Trust me. You don't want to see Ruby this morning."

Emma gave him a confused look before restarting the bug and guiding it back on to the street. "Alright, spill. Why don't I want to see my best friend?"

David was almost gleeful, a wide smile stretching across his face. "She found out about you kissing Killian."

Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and she had to make a concentrated effort not to swerve. "What?"

"Look, I know what happened. The whole town knows what happened."

Emma could feel the panic tightening her chest. She glanced at David, the look on his face confirming that he wasn't lying. Not that he would lie to her, or anyone else for that matter. He was the most honest person she had ever met in her life. "David-"

"Emma, you don't need to explain anything to me. If you want to kiss Killian, you can kiss Killian."

She pulled the bug into her spot in the small parking lot in front of the station. "I had too much to drink," she said quickly, glancing over at David.

He sighed and put his hand on the door handle. "Is that what you are telling yourself? I don't think you were drunk and you don't need an excuse to kiss him, or anyone else for that matter. I, for one, wouldn't blame you if you decided to… do more than kiss Killian." He shook his head and pulled the handle to open the door. "Emma." He waited til she focused on him. "This is Killian we're talking about. He-" David stopped speaking and looked away, shaking his head and changing his mind. He climbed out of the car.

Emma stared after the man she considered her brother, her mind racing. "David!" She climbed out of the car after him, hurrying around the car as she got angry, not liking that he was keeping anything from her. "He what, David?" She glared at his back as he stopped at the base of the stairs. "He left? He ran away without giving a stupid teenaged girl time to realize the mistake she made?" Her eyes met David's as he turned around, the anger waning in the face of the tears prickling her eyes. "He believed her lie?"

"Emma." He walked over to her and reached out to touch her arm. She stepped back, pulling out of his grasp. He scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Everyone makes mistakes, Emma. You aren't completely innocent in this either. Maybe you can forgive each other." The door to the station opened and David glanced behind him to see a deputy walking out. He turned back to Emma, seeing her holding her breath. "Or, maybe you don't. Graham's a good man but, does he make you feel like the man you have been in love with since you were in pigtails?" David watched her for a moment, seeing the war on her face. "Think about it, Emma." He turned and headed up the stairs and into the station.

David's words hit her hard, yet her stubborn mind immediately denied that she was still in love with Killian. It was a childhood infatuation, she convinced herself, for a sweet boy who made her laugh until her stomach hurt. Then, he'd left. Killian had confirmed her worst fear and thoroughly broken her heart. Neal had picked up some of the pieces, only to scatter them again, but it was Killian that had made the mess of her heart. She still blamed him, so giving him another chance wasn't exactly something her mind could commit to.

* * *

The early shift at the station was always slow. Storybrooke, most mornings, was as sleepy and calm as it was picturesque nature implied. Emma could always count on this shift to help her get caught up on her paperwork. But, after several hours of barely moving and a hell of a time trying to concentrate, she was fidgeting in her chair.

"Emma."

"Hmm?" She kept writing.

"Emma." David's hand waved in front of her face and she looked up at him, annoyed. "Go take a walk. You're making me crazy with all of your fidgeting." He pointed towards the door. "Take a radio and don't come back until after lunch."

"Yes, sir," she said with a little mock salute that had David smiling and shaking his head.

Emma stood and shoved her papers back into their folder and dropped them in a desk drawer. She grabbed her jacket and a radio and was out the door within a few minutes, checking her phone once she was outside. Emma grimaced at the handful of texts from Ruby. They started with her saying she saw her with David and then escalating to saying they needed to talk. The final text showed that Ruby had run out of patience and just straight out demanded to know if Emma had really kissed Killian.

Tapping the text box, Emma pulled up the keyboard and hesitated. What was she going to tell Ruby? She could deny it or say that it was a mistake, but Emma wasn't sure if she wanted to get caught up in what would ultimately not be the truth. After her dream, she wasn't so sure that denial was the best decision. Her lie all those years ago had put her on this path and she didn't know if she wanted to stay the course any longer.

She quickly typed yes to Ruby, hit send, and tucked her phone back into her pocket. Ruby could make what she wanted of the simple reply. She was sure her friend would have a million questions, but Emma didn't want to talk about it right now. Maybe after she saw Killian again, she'd know what she wanted to say.

Emma hurried down the steps and started toward the water. Sometimes she could catch teenagers skipping school, hanging out just beyond the dunes or smoking underneath the old dock when the tide was low. If there wasn't anyone there, she would enjoy the serenity that the ocean gave her for a few minutes before continuing her patrol.

The gentle hush of the waves breaking on the shore greeted her as she continued off the sidewalk to the path to the shore. She followed the narrow, grass-lined path as the sounds and scents of being near the water filled her senses, already starting to clear her mind of everything that had happened since Killian returned to town. The path snaked behind a dune, blocking her view of the beach until she walked around it. Emma let out a sigh of disappointment to see a man standing just shy of the lapping waves, his hands pushed into the pockets of his jeans.

"I was just leaving," he said turning around to face her.

"Killian," Emma said, a little startled, stopping where she was in the sand.

"Emma." He smiled.

"I'll go," she said quickly, all of her thoughts and emotions from earlier that day crashing back into her head, making her want to run again. She moved to step back and stumbled in the loose sand.

"Please stay," he said softly, the words almost lost over the sound of the ocean. He stepped closer and reached out to stop her, freezing like she was a skittish animal when she held her hands up. Nodding, he shifted and put his hands back into the pockets of his jeans. "Stay, Emma."

She hesitated, feeling awkward in the moment alone with Killian. Her dream was suddenly vivid in her mind and she closed her eyes against it. "I'll go," she repeated and opened her eyes. Her gaze met Killian's and her body swayed to gain the momentum to leave, but not actually succeeding.

"We were friends, once," he started, his gaze moving to the sand. "All of us together. You and I studied at Granny's." He shook his head and sighed, closing his eyes tightly against the memories. "Emma, I don't know what to do here." He opened his eyes and locked gazes with her. Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity there. "I came back hoping," he swallowed, "hoping for another chance. Just a chance."

Emma stared at Killian, a churning, anxious feeling in her stomach. A part of her wished that he had stayed away, despite knowing that he would never miss Ruby's wedding. Emma could have gone on with her life, maybe found someone to finally push his memory out of her heart. But, he was here, right in front of her. She couldn't wish him away and all the bad behavior in the world would only put more stress on Ruby before her wedding. Killian Jones had come back, blowing into her life and stirring up memories and reviving long forgotten dreams. She ran her tongue over her lips to wet them and looked past Killian to the ocean. "A chance?"

"Aye. That is all I could hope for."

She nodded and bit her lip. A chance. A chance and she could see if her life could have been different if she had admitted her feelings for him back then. Just a chance. "Okay." She met his eyes. "A chance." She watched his face light up and took a deep breath. "On my terms."

Killian's face fell just a little before he nodded, chuckling softly. "Of course. Name your terms, Swan."

Emma took a moment to think, a smile that is more like a grimace on her face. She was going to do this. Emma Swan was going to give Killian Jones a chance. "Okay." She took a deep breather. "Okay. We'll do this, but if I say stop, we stop. We're done and that is the end. I can't..." She swallowed, not finishing the sentence out loud. She took a deep breath, trying to think of any other stipulations. "We are not going to broadcast this. I know, it is a small town, but this is between us, not them." She watched Killian as he waited for her to finish. "This is my decision, okay? This is chance, but it is only a chance. Deal?"

"As you wish, love," he said softly. He scratched behind his ear, giddy and nervous all at once. "So, may I take you to dinner tonight?"

Graham flashed through her mind. She had a date with him that night and had all but forgotten about it when she'd seen Killian. Guilt swirled through her. Emma shook her head, pushing the deputy to the back of her mind. "Tomorrow night?"

"Aye. I'll pick you up at 6." He grinned at her.

Emma nodded, a smile creeping on her face. She wanted to laugh, but kept it contained. Twelve years later and she finally had a date with Killian Jones. He rocked back on his heels, obviously trying to contain his own enthusiasm. Emma laughed at him then, not sure what to say to him now. Her thoughts drifted to the kiss from Saturday night and warmth heated her cheeks and belly. She'd said it was a one time thing, but part of her knew that is not truly what she wanted. The radio on her belt squelched and she grabbed it to check in.

Killian watched Emma talk to David on the radio. She was beautiful, the sea breeze ruffling her hair as she affirmed that she would meet David. He watched her glance to him every few seconds and he smiled brightly at her, running his tongue along his lips. Emma blushed and turned her back to him to finish her conversation with David.

"I have to go," Emma turned back to him, clipping her radio back onto her belt. She glanced at his lips, watching him tap his bottom lip with his finger. She flushed again. "We got a call." She motioned back up the path she came down.

"I'll walk you." Killian crossed over to her and offered his arm.

Emma's gaze flickered between his arm and his face quickly before she just started walking, her cheeks still tinged with red. "You can walk with me. Not walk me."

Killian grinned and quickly caught up with her. "As you wish, love."

Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes and kept walking. Killian would get his chance and she would get a taste of the choice she didn't take. She smiled to herself and glanced at Killian. Just a taste.


End file.
